Why Men Die First

Here’s a hilarious e-mail I got from my dad. XD

Why Men Die First

Why do men die first? This is a question that has gone unanswered for
centuries, but, now we know. It requires a bit of explanation. First:

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race
… you’re a male chauvinist. If you stay home and do the housework …
you’re a pansy. If you work too hard … there’s never any time for
her. If you don’t work enough … you’re a good-for-nothing bum. If she has a
boring repetitive job with low pay … this is exploitation. If you have a
boring repetitive job with low pay … you should get off your lazy behind
and find something better. If you get a promotion ahead of her … that is
favoritism. If she gets a job ahead of you … its equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks … its sexual harassment. If you keep
quiet … its male indifference. If you cry … you’re a wimp. If you
don’t… you’re an insensitive bastard. If you make a decision without
consulting her … you’re a chauvinist.

If she makes a decision without consulting you, she’s a liberated woman.
If you ask her to do something she doesn’t enjoy … that’s domination. If
SHE asks you … it’s a favor. If you appreciate the female form and frilly
underwear … you’re a pervert. If you don’t … you’re gay.

If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape … you’re sexist.
If you don’t … you’re unromantic. If you try to keep yourself in
shape… you’re vain. If you don’t … you’re a slob. If you buy her
flowers …you’re after something. If you don’t … you’re not thoughtful. If
you’re proud of your achievements … you’re full of yourself. If you don’t
…you’re not ambitious. If she has a headache … she’s tired. If you
have a headache … you don’t love her anymore. If you want it too often …
you’re oversexed. If you don’t … there must be someone else.

Why do men die first? Because they want to.

Amen. 😛


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Presenting the thoughts and travails of a teenage writer who lives under a rock--albeit a rock with Internet access. Also, videos! Also, my Tumblr.


  • 33,426 frags

ye random thought.

"For just this once, can we pretend it's you and me?" -Thinking Of You by Test Your Reflex

where in the world!?

from the author.

Check the pages every month or so (Egos, Fiction, Musings, Origins), I usually add stuff little by little (with the possible exception of Fiction, which really depends). Oh, and credits to Joaq for the header image.

by popular demand.

counting the days.

July 2008
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