Why Men Die First

Here’s a hilarious e-mail I got from my dad. XD

Why Men Die First

Why do men die first? This is a question that has gone unanswered for
centuries, but, now we know. It requires a bit of explanation. First:

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race
… you’re a male chauvinist. If you stay home and do the housework …
you’re a pansy. If you work too hard … there’s never any time for
her. If you don’t work enough … you’re a good-for-nothing bum. If she has a
boring repetitive job with low pay … this is exploitation. If you have a
boring repetitive job with low pay … you should get off your lazy behind
and find something better. If you get a promotion ahead of her … that is
favoritism. If she gets a job ahead of you … its equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks … its sexual harassment. If you keep
quiet … its male indifference. If you cry … you’re a wimp. If you
don’t… you’re an insensitive bastard. If you make a decision without
consulting her … you’re a chauvinist.

If she makes a decision without consulting you, she’s a liberated woman.
If you ask her to do something she doesn’t enjoy … that’s domination. If
SHE asks you … it’s a favor. If you appreciate the female form and frilly
underwear … you’re a pervert. If you don’t … you’re gay.

If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape … you’re sexist.
If you don’t … you’re unromantic. If you try to keep yourself in
shape… you’re vain. If you don’t … you’re a slob. If you buy her
flowers …you’re after something. If you don’t … you’re not thoughtful. If
you’re proud of your achievements … you’re full of yourself. If you don’t
…you’re not ambitious. If she has a headache … she’s tired. If you
have a headache … you don’t love her anymore. If you want it too often …
you’re oversexed. If you don’t … there must be someone else.

Why do men die first? Because they want to.

Amen. 😛


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Presenting the thoughts and travails of a teenage writer who lives under a rock--albeit a rock with Internet access. Also, videos! Also, my Tumblr.


  • 33,593 frags

ye random thought.

"For just this once, can we pretend it's you and me?" -Thinking Of You by Test Your Reflex

where in the world!?

from the author.

Check the pages every month or so (Egos, Fiction, Musings, Origins), I usually add stuff little by little (with the possible exception of Fiction, which really depends). Oh, and credits to Joaq for the header image.

counting the days.

July 2008
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