Dirty Tricks

Yet another article from one of my Bathroom Readers. πŸ˜› It starts now.

Why should politicians have all the fun? You can pull off some dirty tricks, too. This “dirty dozen” should inspire you to new lows.

Pound Foolish
Pay a visit to the local dog pound or SPCA, wearing a chef’s hat and an apron. Ask to see one of the kittens or puppies that are available for adoption. Pick it up and act as if you’re weighing it, then set it down and ask to see one that’s “a little more plump.”

Sock It To ‘Em
Tired of looking for that one sock you lost in the laundry? Pass on your anxieties: Stick the leftover sock in with someone else’s wash-load. Let them look for the missing sock for awhile.

Something Fishy
If you have a (clean) aquarium, toss some thin carrot slices into the tank. Later when you have guests over, grab the slices out of the tank and eat them quickly. If you do it quick enough, your victims will assume you’re eating a goldfish. (If you accidentally grab a real goldfish, toss it back in, grab the carrot slice, and complain to your victims that the first fish was “too small.”)

Lost Your Marbles?
Pry the hubcap off a friend’s car, drop two or three steel ball bearings inside, and replace the hubcap. Then watch them drive off. The ball bearings will make an enormous racket for a few seconds, until they become held in place by centrifugal force. They’ll stay silent until the victim applies the brakes, and then they’ll shake loose again.

TV Guide
Got a friend who’s a couch potato? Carefully remove the cover of their TV Guide (or weekly newspaper TV schedule), then glue it to an older schedule, so the TV listings are wrong. It’ll drive a true TV fanatic crazy.

Return To Sender
Embarrass a coworker by buying a magazine they would never read (High Times, Guns & Ammo, and Easy Rider work well), and glue the mailing label from one of their regular magazines to the cover. Then stick it in the cafeteria or restroom where other coworkers can see it.

Practice Drills
The next time you visit the dentist, scream really loud the minute you get seated in the dentist’s chair. You’ll send the patients in the waiting room running for cover.

Mad Hatter
If your friend wears a favorite hat, find out the manufacturer and buy two or more others of varying sizes. Then periodically switch them with your friend’s hat. He’ll be convinced his head is changing sizes. (Another hat trick: Fill your victim’s hat with baby powder.)

At A Wedding
If you’re a close friend of the groom, paint a message on the sole of his shoes (the raised part near the hell that doesn’t touch the ground) without telling him. When he kneels at the altar, the message will be visible for everyone to see.

Park Place
The next time you’re walking through a crowded parking lot, pull out your car keys and act as if you’re looking for your car. Walk in between cars across the rows; motorists looking for a parking space will race to keep up with you.

Party Idea
Using superglue, glue someone’s drink to the bar or to a table.

Wake Up Call
Gather as many alarm clocks as you can find and hide them in different places in your victim’s room. Set one alarm off so it goes off very early in the morning, and set the others so they go off every five minutes afterward. Guaranteed to make your victim an early riser.

PS: Sorry for not posting earlier, it’s just that what I did have that was worth posting cannot be written here.


15 Responses to “Dirty Tricks”

  1. January 4, 2007 at 7:36 pm

    I read that (well you made me read it…)


  2. 2 Joe
    January 4, 2007 at 7:51 pm

    hmm, commenting first is really your thing, isn’t it? XD

  3. January 4, 2007 at 9:37 pm

    oi alvin, you went first again! =))

    yey, you updated! lol, been bugging you to update since the new year. πŸ˜›

    they certainly are dirty tricks. haha. lol.

  4. 4 Joe
    January 4, 2007 at 9:49 pm

    yes, but they certainly are–erm–‘food for thought’, shall we say. >:)


  5. January 5, 2007 at 3:38 pm

    I’m now aspiring to be first comment on every entry of people

  6. January 5, 2007 at 3:48 pm

    not that again. fine, ROFLMAOMA, B. πŸ˜›

    bastaaa. you know what that means already. πŸ˜€ hehe.

    posting from java-9. πŸ˜› haha. lol. bored. πŸ˜€

    maaarz signing out.

  7. January 5, 2007 at 4:05 pm

    oi ang sama! joke. πŸ˜›

    posting again from comsci. πŸ˜€

    maaarz signing out.

  8. January 6, 2007 at 11:06 am

    U Laugh Out Loud!!!! U.L.O.L.!!!

  9. January 7, 2007 at 2:32 pm

    i know that. it’s just that it’s still kinda weird. πŸ˜›

  10. January 8, 2007 at 1:06 am

    whoa whoa whoa, this is really turning into a conversation between you and alvin. πŸ˜›

    just noticed. peace. πŸ˜€

    maaarz signing out.

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Presenting the thoughts and travails of a teenage writer who lives under a rock--albeit a rock with Internet access. Also, videos! Also, my Tumblr.


  • 32,993 frags

ye random thought.

"For just this once, can we pretend it's you and me?" -Thinking Of You by Test Your Reflex

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from the author.

Check the pages every month or so (Egos, Fiction, Musings, Origins), I usually add stuff little by little (with the possible exception of Fiction, which really depends). Oh, and credits to Joaq for the header image.

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